Why calm doesn’t always feel natural after Chronic Stress
Sometimes stress doesn’t arrive all at once. Sometimes it slowly becomes the background noise of life.
We adjust. We adapt. We keep moving forward. Before we realize it, the nervous system has become so accustomed to handling things that being fully relaxed starts to feel unfamiliar.
My mom had entered the hospital a few weeks ago and been diagnosed with an infection. All seemed to be going well. I managed visits… with the drive, squeezing the time into my schedule, long uncomfortable periods of sitting in the “wrong chairs” and the noise of the hospital for the first few weeks.
In between, I did my regular work as well as all the necessary health care, and just let a few things slide at home. To me, house work really isn’t a big deal, because whether you skip a week or two, it’s not terribly much work to catch up on at that point.
Well, for mom, the first course of antibiotics was not enough, so now we are looking much more long term. And that means that I need something more besides a temporary plan. Because temporary plans do not work for the long term. AT ALL!
The next thing is that we hit the rainy season in Southern Alberta. Yes, we actually have a rainy season, since the majority of our rain comes basically in the month of June. However, this year it came a few days early, with a vengeance and a serious dip in temperatures. It’s just above freezing, which isn’t normal for our area.
I’ve talked a lot about how I am slowly increasing my movement. Well, that doesn’t happen during rain and cold because I’m a fair weather walker. Ba ha ha!! I can do the cold… but seriously, NOT the WET!! And for sure not the WET AND THE COLD.
This all brings a whole new dimension to my lifestyle. I need to deal with the fatigue and stiffness that the weather brings for sure. And for me, that means Epsom salts baths and saunas. Both are time consuming.
And that makes less time for regular stuff, like housework and laundry. Even more, there is STILL the added need of spending time with my mom, in a way that doesn’t impact my health negatively.
My body was telling me this was taking more out of me than I realized. Looking back, I think my nervous system was carrying more than I realized too.
What has been interesting to me is that none of these things, by themselves, feel particularly overwhelming.But when you put them together – uncertainty, schedule changes, extra driving, hospital visits, disrupted routines, less movement, colder weather, and the normal responsibilities of life – the nervous system can quietly shift into “handling things” mode.
And once it gets there, it doesn’t always switch itself off right away.
This is one reason I think many of us living with chronic illness can feel like chronic stress becomes our default setting.Not because of one big event, but because so many smaller things quietly accumulate over time. We adapt, we keep going, and eventually we stop noticing how much extra load the body is carrying.
The good news is that we can choose healthy shifts and begin to support our needs in better ways.
“Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul.” — Psalm 131:2
I don’t think calm always arrives on its own. Sometimes we create the conditions for it by simplifying, resting, and paying attention to what our bodies need in a particular season.
Usually it starts by paying attention. By noticing what is adding stress, what is helping, and where the body seems to end up. Sometimes it means protecting more time for rest. Sometimes it means simplifying. Sometimes it means reducing stimulation or building more recovery into the day.
If you’ve ever felt like this kind of balance doesn’t come naturally anymore, you’re not alone.
Sometimes the nervous system simply needs time, consistency, and consistent support to remember what balance feels like again.
If this resonates with you, my free resource, The Daily Calm Practice: A 3-Minute Faith + Breath Reset, is a simple place to start.