The hidden mental load of managing symptoms, appointments, decisions, and everyday life
Have you ever wondered why living with chronic illness can leave your mind exhausted before your body is even tired?
The past week has been one of those weeks for me. Monday was craniosacral therapy, Tuesday a group class and shockwave therapy, Wednesday blood tests, and Thursday a haircut. None of these things are a huge deal on their own, but having something every day changes things.
They’re all “routine outside of the regular routine,” if that makes sense. And if you’re struggling with chronic illness, you probably know exactly what I mean! It’s not necessarily what we’re doing. It’s all the extra things our brains have to remember and manage around it.
My regular routine is pretty slow. I “crawl” into my morning with a warm drink and microwavable flax bags for the stiffness, then head to the deck. I sit in the sun, listen to my Bible reading, breathe and pray. Sometimes I think… although I’m honestly not certain I always think. Maybe I just daydream. Ha ha.
After that, I check my calendar, do a chore I enjoy, go for my walk, and eventually head to my office for a few hours of writing. I actually get a lot accomplished, but my days are pretty chill and unrushed.
Unless there is an appointment. That just messes with everything! Suddenly I’m cutting routines short, getting out the door on time, finding parking, remembering to drink and fitting everything else around it.
And that’s really the issue. With chronic illness, it’s all the little “other things” that add up. How many steps am I walking today? Am I eating wisely while I’m “running around”? Is there enough downtime? Will I be extra tired tomorrow because of what I’m doing today?
Why Your Mind Gets Tired Before Your Body Does
All of that planning, remembering, calculating and adjusting takes mental energy. And chronic illness adds a whole extra layer. We aren’t just thinking, “What do I need to do today?” We’re also thinking, “How much energy will this take? When will I eat? When can I rest? And what will tomorrow look like?”
Even when those thoughts are quietly running in the background, our brains are working. That’s why we can feel mentally tired when we haven’t actually done very much physically. Our minds have been busy managing the day before our bodies have even had a chance to live it!
You Don’t Have to Think About Everything Today
One of the things I’ve been learning is that not every thought about tomorrow needs my attention today. Yes, I need to plan wisely. I need to look at my calendar, manage my energy and make decisions that support my health. But I don’t need to mentally live through every possible outcome before it happens.
This is where renewing our minds becomes so practical. Romans 12:2 tells us to “be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Sometimes that means noticing where our thoughts are going and asking whether we actually need to follow them there.
Maybe today I need to remember my appointment, take my water and leave enough time so that I’m not rushing. That’s enough. I don’t also need to figure out whether I’ll be tired tomorrow, what that might mean for the rest of the week, or how I’ll rearrange everything if things don’t go according to plan.
There is wisdom in planning ahead. But there is also freedom in recognizing what belongs to today and what doesn’t. Sometimes reducing the mental load begins with simply giving ourselves permission to deal with the next thing when it’s actually time to deal with it.
Your Brain Is Doing More Than You Realize
Our brains are constantly paying attention to what is happening around us and inside our bodies. With chronic illness, there is simply more to pay attention to: pain, sleep, symptoms, appointments, energy and uncertainty. Our brains are designed to protect us. God designed them that way!
For me, mind renewal means noticing where my thoughts are going and bringing them back to what is actually in front of me. What needs my attention today? And what can I leave with God until tomorrow?
Jesus said, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.” (Matthew 6:34)
If you’d like to understand more about why your brain can become so watchful when you’re living with chronic illness, I’ve created a free resource called God Designed Your Brain to Heal: Understanding Stress, Safety, and Your Healing Journey.
It explains how stress and uncertainty affect the brain and how simple daily practices can help create greater safety and predictability.
[Get your free copy of God Designed Your Brain to Heal here.]
You don’t have to figure out your entire healing journey today. Sometimes there is already enough to think about today without borrowing from tomorrow!